Endings. Beginnings

For something to begin, something must end. For something to end, something must begin.

Endings and beginnings. An endless cycle. We all journey through it, sometimes easier, sometimes so much harder. And sometimes, we get stuck. Stuck in the ending. Stuck in the beginning. Or in between. In this No Man’s land. In this dark maze. Where doors are closing, before new ones can open. An endless corridor. Sometimes this place is exciting, filled with curiosity and endless opportunities. What will this door reveal? What treasures can be found? Sometimes it is yucky. Filled with uncertainty, worry, confusion. Sometimes it’s both. I alternate—excitement and hope lifting me only to crash and burn with anxiety. So much in my life is ending. Narratives. Patterns. Relationships. People leave. Because I change. Because they change. Or, because their life’s journey is at an end. When fear rules, I can’t see the path in front of me anymore. I don’t realise, I’m transitioning. From the small child, teenager and woman needing to heal and having healed, to this wise, strong woman, waiting to be embodied, but unable to do so. And yet, I feel this stirring. This power in the air. My power. Calling to me. And it is mighty.

Am I ready for it? For all that it brings? More change? More endings? All the uncomfortably beautiful beginnings? To move from fear into curiosity, into excitement?

I hesitate. I shiver. I take a deep breath and feel the earth beneath me. Feel the roots, strong and deep, holding me, anchoring me in. The wind blows. The ocean roars. I stand still and allow myself to open just a little bit—to the power that is my birthright. A choice point, if any there is. I breathe some more. Feel the wind on my face, the rawness of this moment. And I choose. I choose to trust and have faith. That I am so much stronger than I think. That I am safe. That my power is safe. That I am worthy of becoming. Of stepping into my own. That this is where I’m meant to be. That it’s time to leave the old behind, to allow the endings to happen for the new to arrive, to be welcomed and let in. To let myself in. All that I am. And begin.